In Dallas, the nation's Roman Catholic bishops had, in the end, spoken with one decisive voice, drawing what they said they hoped would be a road map to lead the church out of scandal and tumult.
That consensus was missing among Catholics across the country who went to church yesterday, two days after the Dallas conference.
It was clear in Seattle, San Francisco, Fort Lauderdale, Fla., Boston, Brooklyn and Shrub Oak, N.Y., that at the level of the pews and parishes, Catholics remained deeply divided over how to get through the crisis. The prospect of moving forward, in many places, seems bogged down with debate, disillusionment, confusion, defensiveness and the struggle between forgiving and punishing.
"They're doing their best and I think we'll have a stronger church in the long run," said Charles Heinsinger, a retired architect who attended services at St. John the Baptist, a Roman Catholic church in Fort Lauderdale. "As a flock, I think we just have to rally around the church. Just because a wolf barks, it doesn't mean the whole flock has to scatter."
In Shrub Oak in Westchester County, a longtime parishioner at St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Church said she was frustrated by the sermon. The parish was engulfed in a new scandal last week involving its pastor's resignation amid revelations that he had sexual relationships with women.
"They said, `Let's heal,' and then they moved on to other things," the woman, who refused to give her name, said after church. "They mention it, and then they put it behind them. My father's going to turn over in his grave, but I think I'm going to become an Episcopalian."
Many worshipers said the new policy — to bar a priest who has sexually abused a minor from ministry but not defrock him — did not go far enough, that a priest with even one incident of sexual abuse should be banished from the church forever.
Others said they had the victims on their minds, and that the talk in Dallas was too little too late. Still others said the bishops were on target, that the church should never abandon one of its own. Some were just tired of thinking about it. Some said they were still so shaken by the scandal they did not know what to think.
The Dallas decision — the centerpiece of a binding national policy intended to deal with the sexual abuse crisis — means that any priest known to have ever abused a child, no matter how long ago, may no longer be a pastor or chaplain in a parish, school, hospital or nursing home. He may retain the title of priest, but he will no longer be allowed to dress in clerical garb or to say Mass anywhere but in private.
"The priests who committed those acts are wrong, but God forgives everyone without exception," said Maryanne Prekop, 69, who attended Our Lady of Victories Roman Catholic Parish in Jersey City. "People have to live with what they've done, and it's time to move on."
In Boston, where the revelations about abuse by priests began earlier this year, the intensity of the crisis was evident outside the Cathedral of the Holy Cross. About 20 protesters, making their usual appearance at the 11 a.m. Mass, shouted disparaging things about Cardinal Bernard F. Law of Boston, a central figure in the scandal. They waved signs saying things like "Repent and Resign."
Phillip Cogswell Jr., 46, of Concord, Mass., who said he had been sexually abused by John J. Geoghan, a now-defrocked priest, in 1967, said, "It's Father's Day, I'm here for my dad." He added that his father had also been abused by a priest.
"I never could figure out why my father couldn't walk through the doors of a church," he said, adding that his father died last year, after a battle with alcoholism. "I remember a man who would have rather been dead than live in the pain he was in."
Of the church leaders, Mr. Cogswell said: "They've aided and abetted criminals. This has resulted in children losing their connection with God and any spiritual health as a result."
During the protest, a priest walked out of the cathedral and stood watching the demonstrators.
"Look at these people and they will tell you that the problem was that no one was listening to them," said the priest, the Rev. Robert Carr. "So I came out here."
Across the parishes, many people said they think the new policy set by the bishops in Dallas came too late to repair decades of harm to victims and the more recent damage to the church's reputation, among Catholics and non-Catholics alike.
"The church shouldn't hide what's been done by these priests," said Vilma Vibat, 41, who attended Mass at the Church of the Epiphany in San Francisco, the city's largest Roman Catholic parish. "I think what the bishops did was good, but I also think it was too late for all the victims. Why did they cover all this up? The church could have done more to prevent this. They must do more."
Joe Amaturo, a retired broadcaster in Fort Lauderdale, said after services: "The bishops should keep in mind that every priest that is accused is innocent until proven guilty. But those who are found guilty should be removed from the church. They've shamed themselves and their pledges to the church. Of course, what they've done to innocent young people is almost unforgivable."
Britton Steel, 41, who attended Mass at St. James Cathedral in Seattle, defended the church, saying he felt the bishops were pressured into adopting the policy and that he hoped that the Vatican, which has not commented on the policy, would reject it. "I think they caved, personally," Mr. Britton said. "I think they caved to popular opinion. Cooler heads are going to prevail in Rome."
Connie L. Ford, 56, who was visiting New York from Hanover Park, Ill., and attended services at St. Patrick's Cathedral in Manhattan with her mother and sisters, said she thought the policy was balanced. "Last week I was for the zero-tolerance, kick-them-right-out-the-door policy," she said. "But when a person's had one infraction, the church still has to love them. Sometimes people make one big mistake in their lives and they never make another mistake forever."
Many sermons made no mention of the scandal or the meeting in Dallas. But in Fort Lauderdale, where retirees worship alongside young families, the Rev. Vincent Kelly, pastor of St. John the Baptist, told the congregation: "Clearly, the misbehavior of some of our clergy is behind us. Each case will receive appropriate consideration and just solutions will be reached. We, as Catholic people move forward with an emphasis on our faith."
In New York, Msgr. Eugene V. Clark, who leads services at St. Patrick's Cathedral and who was sharply criticized for comments he made recently about homosexuality, spoke in his homily about the importance of forgiveness. But he also said, "The church is being harassed."
Bishop Thomas V. Daily, leader of a diocese of 1.6 million Catholics in Brooklyn and Queens, did not mention the scandal or the Dallas policy during Mass at the Cathedral Basilica of St. James in Brooklyn.
But in an interview afterward, the bishop, who has been criticized for failing to act while he was a top official of the Archdiocese of Boston in the early 1980's, said: "We were called to change our way of operating in terms of our charter and norms. There will be a change; the vote reflected that. It was also a reflection of the will of the people."
Bishop Daily added: "There will be no exceptions. One is too many. And no more injury to kids — that's our primary objective. We need to look after their protection and their life. We need to restore our credibility. That's not going to be easy. But if that's our cross in life, we'll do it."